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Showing posts from September, 2018

All Encompassing

In life, we are afforded many different experiences and many different emotions that go along with them. We fall in love, and the butterflies start and it is an all encompassing need to be near that person, to hear their voice, to touch them. Then, in some cases, those butterflies flutter away and the relationship breaks up, and there is an all encompassing sadness. Oftentimes, this is a cycle of love, sadness, love, sadness...until, one hopes, the one all encompassing relationship starts and the cycle ends. When you have a child, there is this all encompassing feeling starting in pregnancy. Protectiveness over this little life takes over every thought, and you can't think of anything else but how to get that baby here safely. Almost every part of life becomes about the baby and then...then. The baby arrives and you see that face and you are bursting with love. The first several weeks and months are about nothing but baby care...diapers, wipes, cribs, baths, feedings, no sleep,...

The Unexpected

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Maybe it is the pouring rain. Maybe it is the beginning of school. Maybe it is the beginning of a baseball season. Maybe it was because I watched Saving Private Ryan last night (not smart). Maybe it was putting all the pictures up in Mom's house yesterday. Maybe it is because their anniversary came and went and he isn't here. Maybe it is because Riley started preschool last week and he wasn't here to see it and hear her stories (which he would have eaten up). Maybe it is because September 11 is tomorrow and he survived the Pentagon being targeted just to die of some dumb disease later (yes, I am bitter). Maybe it is because this month is Pulmonary Fibrosis Awareness month and every time I think about it I get angry. Whatever the reason, I am in the middle of this unexpected emotional breakdown and it is frustrating me. I dropped Riley off at school and the emotion that has been threatening for a couple of weeks came spilling out as soon as I pulled into the garage. It w...

Competition

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I am pretty sure I was born a competitor. I didn't have to worry about winning the "cutest Snyder" contest, because I was the first born girl and I.Was.Fabulous. I won at being the biggest baby. I won the two best big brothers. I won the best parents. I eventually won the best little sister. Born winner. Mom says I was a mover early. Crawling, pulling up, cruising by 4 months. Overachieving from the start. Then came sports and academics (I was definitely much more competitive in sports!) and I could be fierce. I LOVED COMPETING. Not even just to win, but to be MY best, to be active, to work harder than the other player. During my childhood I had lots of cheerleaders. Lots of people helping me along the way to being my best. Coaches, teachers, friends, family. By far my biggest cheerleaders were my parents, and more specifically my dad. It was always so nice knowing I had him to talk me up after a bad game, take me down a notch when I needed it, make me work har...